Alternatives

P describes this conversation between Em and Grandpa:

G (after dropping a tool while working on a bike): Doggone it!
Em: Why did you say that?
G: When something bad happens, I say that so I don't have to a bad word.
Em: Oh. Grandma just says, "shit" or "damn."

I'm done talking with you now, Dad...

So, the abrupt end of my latest phone conversation went something like this:

Em: "So, I'm going to let you go so we don't waste any more energy."
Me: "What energy??"
Em: "The whole world. Goodbye!"

An etiquette lesson for the washroom

Collected by P:

As Em is sitting on the toilet, she says, "Did you know that if you fart when you are on the toilet that you don't need to say excuse me?"

I said, "I did not know that."

She replies, "So have you been saying excuse me for the past year?"

Me: "Yes."

Emily: "Well, you don't have to because the toilet is the only one who smells it."

Me: "Where did you hear this?" (It is always interesting to hear where she learns these pearls of wisdom)

Em: "Grandma...Well, maybe I just figured it out on my own."